I had the same struggles as you with #1, and I wish I'd given myself permission to meet my own needs. So yah, there's a balance between being utterly self sacrificing and accepting that your kid is going to experience some discomfort while you set up routines that are healthier for everyone. I lovingly patted her butt or sometimes just let her cry, but she wasn't going to get all night nursings anymore because I was gonna fucking run away. I just want to say, I know you said you regret sleep training, but teaching a baby to sleep in a new way, that's sleep training. Within a few hellish nights she was sleeping til that 3am sweet spot, then til 5-6am, straight through. The rest of the time, I'd par her butt and refuse to nurse. Even though it was more work, I'd pick her up and nurse her once during the night, after 3am. Then I would start putting her down in a pack n play next to me after the last boobin'. I coslept with my first got 2 years, second 10 months. I have no idea what to do anymore, my spouse very much wants to help but is just as lost as I am and has lost all confidence with parenting alone with me being away.Ī new routine for a kid this deep into a momma cosleeping situation is probably not going to happen without tears. Which is obviously going to be a dumpster fire for all of us. To my understanding, as I haven't gotten a call back, he will need to fast. Not only did we want to TTC for baby #2 For our ideal age gap really really soon, but we now have a dental referal into a specialist for our son to have a cavity fixed. I just want to know that my spouse can get him to bed, tend to him at night, whatever.
He still has 1 nap a day but it's clearly needed. I cant just go to another part of the house because its a very tiny cottage. Sees his father at night when waking up? Total histerics, hitting, screams the house down and ends up drenched in tears and snot. We have tried bottles, sippy cups (weighted straw, Avent, trainers, 360, you name it) for night and no goooo. He hates milk, milk substitutes, and we don't give juice because it's just sugar and terrible for teeth (which we have issues with). Since 7m my spouse sleeps in a seperate room and myself and son bedshare because it was the only way anyone got any sleep and I was incredibly sleep deprived so don't me I tried my best.
#HANDS OFF PARENTING HOW TO#
We have no idea how to get our son to sleep without being breastfed. We don't want to wean for various reasons. My son is a big mamas boy and experiences a lot of anxiety when separated. We are isolated and there are no daycares, we have no real supports, so spouse is the only realistic option. that I have set myself up to be unable to get. But I'm feeling a bit better these days and needing a break. This means I am the only one to put him to sleep ever, and my constant PPA tends to end in me "just doing it myself" because I don't feel anyone else can do it properly or something so now here I am doing it all on my own. He is still breastfed, and I'm okay with that. Aside from trying to ST for naps at about 4 months (which I regret and will never do again) for a few weeks he has always been breastfed to sleep. For 2 whole months we slept in shifts with one of us having constant eyes on our son, we were terrified and it was super unsustainable and we burnt ourselves out for no reason. I was convinced to stay in the nospital a second night and ended up with a shitty night nurse who was clearly miserable and looking to take it out on someone. When our son was born, within hours, I developed PPA. But COVID circumstances provided some unique opportunities and we are much much better for it. He did a 180 the second our son was born but that only lasted a few months before we were struggling to stay at all positive because, well, poverty.
my entire pregnancy and my spouse suicidal. We managed to move back to our home province in a different area and I worked at a shitty fast food place to keep a roof over our heads. And my spouse was constantly sick (suspected cyclic vomiting syndrome but things done line up idk). We had just relocated with whatever fit in my car to my MILs cottage because we needed a place to live. I just graduated trade school as an apprentice and looking for work, my spouse was sick for unknown reasons (still happens) and off work trying to go to long term sick leave but issues with insurance left us with no money, no benefits and just a hell of a lot of debt and mental health issues. It was unplanned (but not unwanted!) And happened during the lowest part of my life. Our parenting is gentle, respectful, and biologically normal I guess.
It's a long story and a lot of ups and downs. My son is 2 and it has been an interesting 2 years, even without a pandemic and my spouse's sudden career change and relocating remote.
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